Dear Zachery

 

Hello Zachery Thank you for connecting via phone, it was very good getting to talk with you. Thank you for the $, and the jpay stamps. You are a very interesting person, your insight/views are on point. So often it is impossible, as you allude to, in finding anyone with conversation of substance. In here, it sickens me to see my own kind befriend and associate with the others. I will not break bread with them or engage in conversation with them. Plus it helps that I detest sports and that is all they know. Do not know if your family will ever come around. Seems like that ship has sailed. Your young life was riddled with horrible things, then your adult life with the wife leaving during your time of need, that was messed up too. The daughters and son may come to their senses, hopefully while you are still able to share conversations with them. It seems like life there is layed back and somewhat peaceful. You have a good woman, a loyal dog, your guitar, your ability to write, youthful looks, no body fat, you have your hair (so many guys go bald at early ages) and you have so much inner strength. Over 500 days sobriety, that is a huge accomplishment. I reached a point where it was more run to look ahead and wonder just how far I could go without indulging in drink/drugs, and eventually I found that I was not even thinking of those vices, instead enjoying the new feelings of being a different/improved/clearer mindset. Money saved was a blessing also. Even when it came to prescribed medications, I did not even want to take those because they made me feel like I was cheating on myself/ my sobriety. Having a clear mind is indeed more of a blessing than anything that alters my thought process. It took decades to realize that I had allowed those vices to become more important to me than my love of family or friends, and my actions did not consider my neighbors, or the community. I had become a monster dressed in blue jeans. Looking back at the destruction I left in my wake, saddens me and makes me regret, but we can not change the past. Learning from bad choices, striving to never repeat those bad choices, growing, maturing, all things we must do. I am impressed and proud of the in you have become. You survived so much for a reason. If I can ever be of any help or a shoulder to bounce ideas off of, I am here. Thank you for everything. Your emails are always welcome. Best to you.....Jim