Another Day

8:46 1/21/2023

Body resting, mind in a storm of thoughts and dreaming, I realized it was time to turn the bird lights on and go pee. Time on the digital clock, on her side of the bed, was 7:15.

Great. I'll just go check on the pigeons, and write in my journal. Yeah, that's what I thought until Julie got up. 

Riley had barked at her, and she actually got out of bed to let him out the back door.

My stomach was upset from the cake I ate when I was in bed- german chocolate with coconut and walnut frosting. I didn't haev my teeth in so I swallowed the nuts as they were, and now I am sitting on the toilet, where she now needs to be.

Coffee is brewing, and she goes back to bed only to turn on Fox news. I expected her to go back to bed, and sleep in.

Auditory disturbance sends me to the Chart Room, hoping to write what I was thinking about during my rest.

The essence of my thoughts revolve around unethical business practices- hunting practices, like when they hunted the passenger pigeons to extinction.

Roosting birds, like pigeons and turkeys, can be exploited by causing a disturbance before daylight where they roost. The birds will all flee their perches and nests which will make it so their nests can be robbed of eggs, and they can be easily targetted when they come to find their homes again when the sun comes up.

The same thing is being done to humans- exascerbating their senses with adulterated broadcasting methodologies. This causes for people to not be able to get a grip on their lives, and always be confused and distracted- engaging the senses with the saliency that steals their attention and allowing for the hypnotism to become employed. There will be chaos soon. 9:03

10:45 Thinking about paying to be heard- paying money to have your "ad" seen online or tv/radio. You can also pay in suffering. There are two types of suffering- suffering and remaining ignorant of why you are suffering, and how to solve the problems means that you are living in debt to that suffering. The paying is done by the study and resolve, and the development of the skills to communicate your having paid by your teaching about the remedies but in a world where the soap boxes have all been taken, and offered to you at a price too high. They have made us all silent by selling the stages to capitalists, gereating more capital byway of sales methodolgies that have enslaved the masses. 10:51 review for fluency and details of the illustration

11:09 The routine where everything is on, and I'm sitting here idle, thinking about everything that I could do if I had a bunch of money.

What can I do that doesn't cost any money? What can I do for free? What can I do to take my mind off being lonely? Oh what can I do with me? 

What can I do while I'm in this prison? Why can't I fly through the air and be free? What can I do with my hands that I'm reaching? And how do I wake up who's imprisoned with me?

When I do things, she can't notice that it's the TV and iPad, not Wii. And knowing her powers and energy's sleeping, and that we could break free if we were a Tweam? 11:16

11:51 Frustrated that nothing is going to get done unless I do it, I accept my day as it's served by putting my top coat on and going to work. 

It's a lovely black leather longcoat that has an official type of appearance. I wear it often as part of my uniform that helps to manage my ego for addressing the storms that might come, and do. 

It was a notion to take a nice shower and then have breakfast, maybe "walk the dog" and get my heart rate going. Just the kind of foreplay needed to make a team effort of cleaning the car out but I finally accepted that it's not going to get done unless I just do it. That means warming up into a chore mode with cleaning the kitchen or continuing to waste time while hoping she will become attentive. Yes, she worked all week so leave her be I guess. It's all about coping now that I see where I need to focus in order to continue being me. 

Having made a cake last night, she left me my share of the details with all of the evidence. All of the stuff is in the wrong side of the sink, and nothing but making a cake was what was done. I guess that's what I get for not helping- the parenting part of helping make a cake. 

The whole fucking media and all of the devices have poisoned us all, and I am desperate to find my tweam. 12:06

4:13 Having been lured into the bedroom, here I sit wasting time.

"Honey I shrunk The Kids, is on," she called.

That didn't interest me so much since there was so many things that needed attention- things that were already put off for another day. It's a snowball growing yet poised to tumble and fall but we can do it tomorrow, and tomorrow never comes.

No, tomorrow never comes, especially when it's someone coming to help you from drowning but becoming drowned is what we will all do in the end. It's a glutton's death, in a world and time when no one can quite get enough so, touching her nipple just twice led right into sex and my giving up.

It's now an Ice Age Marathon, on Disney Plus. Oh, we'll get our money out of that digital media service. 

It's kind of like being up before the rest of the house to go fishing, and without fishing no one will eat. After you decide to just get everything ready because time is a'wasting, you later learn no one is using their feet.

And after a few days of no one going, you end up going by yourself but when you get home you realize there's none left for you all because no one would help. So like a bird, you will nibble on a crumb you find laying here and there but your heart's always pining for someone to work with, someone to contribute and share.

You have to remind yourself, once in a while, that there's something special that is just meant for you. And while everyone's sleeping, distracted and sheepish, your path is a secret for you. 

Thoughts of my new hatchling, and Rocky's small scaley eye-lashes or Riley's eyes talking to me- and the spirits in nature, the angels are watching. There's magic there for only my eyes to see.

Rome wasn't built in one single day, 698 dry. The garden's always being weeded, tended as needed, and tears water the soil as each one lovingly drips from my eyes. 

Tomorrow we'll start working together at 2, and be in pajamas again by 5. If I just let things pile up while waiting, everything will become too much and I'll just end up with dealing with it then. I refuse to accept my life meaning nothing, and that this is just the way life is. And the reality of concerning ourselves with space travel is that the damage is too great to begin recognizing because it boils down to America, in then end 4:40

6:32 They are hunting for the eggs that were stolen from the sleeping sloth. Julie made a box of macaroni and cheese, sharing it with me although I ate a bowl of bean soup that I couldn't finish just a little while ago. Managing to eat a fair share of it was good considering I had only eaten a bit of soup all day.

A few minutes ago I was looking at the pigeons. Max and Mildred were both guarding their nest. I got a good look at the hatchling when they switched places. And with so much going on all around me that's wrong, it's little treasures like this that keep life interesting- a fairy tale you tell children to distract them from the pain that accompanies the truth. 

Riley sits attentive to my view, on the far left corner of the bed- toy at his front paws while he waits to play the game some more. I am glad that my attention makes him happy- wagging his tail with a low growl and a stare, and then he jumps down to wait for the toss. 6:44

7:05 Taking a stab at aromatherapy, I decided to make my usual popcorn on the stovetop. 

As I sit with it, in my spot on the bed, Riley paws at the bucket while making a noise with his voice. He likes having popcorn, taking a piece from my fingers, and then going to the foot of the bed to eat it. Back and forth, he'll go like that until he's interested in something else. Now he lies at my feet waiting for me to be done using my hands. 

He moves in a moment to lay right in front of Julie, where she is now sitting with the iPad, on the edge of the bed. She finally acknowledges him while managing distractions, petting him a bit.

And I wonder whether I am just having a midlife crisis or if what I am experiencing is all part of me losing my mind. Certainly, people would want me to believe that but all I see is what i have been told, and what has become true right before my eyes. 7:17

7:44 Riley barks from the living room. He wants to go outside. I ask him if he wants to go out, as I get up to do so.

After clipping the "love-line" to his collar, I reach up and open the door and then reach for the screendoor handle but hesitate. 

Peering out past our dark porch, I can see two very large dogs on the sidewalk near Julie's car. If I would've just opened the door, he might have run right out there and been killed by them. His line goes out about 24 feet, and reaches well into the area they were at. It's possible that they were friendly but with a very small animal, and costing so much money, it would be a terribly foolish risk. Thank goodness I looked twice before just letting him out.

Typically, I routinely look out the window- prepared for the worst when I do. 

Hopefully everything runs smoothly tomorrow. 7:58