Tuesday, June 7, 2016

"Love Never Dies" from Escaping The Despondent Sea by #zacherypolk

Siena went to her Grandmother's house to stay and relate for several days, as well as visit other family members, while in Lansing, Michigan. 

Excited as she was about our activities, she would mention to everyone with ears, 
"Zach...." this, and "Zach..." that, "Zach.... Zach.....Zach," only to have what she wanted to share, fall on ears to hear of me only in the least - to deny my existences and sincerities.

Siena picked up on their refusal to accept me, as well as the goodness and integrity of my efforts and the time spent IN HER LIFE.

She was made to reverse her pride in "Us," and has become very much confused. 
She feels like she has nothing to be proud of, and that she is not good enough.

My intuition tells me that she has also been molested by another child- a female. 

Her friend has been repeatedly molested by her father. 

Her and her mother are living here on a relocation program for victim/witness protection. 

Terrorlynn's mother, Crazy Kirsten, has openly explained their involvement in the crystal methamphetamine, and the molestations. 

Only Kirsten knows the real truthful details of it all.

Despite the learning of ENOUGH details, Siena has been allowed to spend extensive amounts of time with these people, including sleep-overs, and traveling with them in their vehicle.

One day, after one of these sleep-over's, Siena came home only to tell her mother that she likes girls. 

The first time I mentioned concern that she may have been molested, Jen called the police to force me to leave- citing Domestic Abuse. 

Only it was because she didn't want to deal with any issues involved in maintaining a family in any way. 
If she would have been willing to discuss it she may have recognized the severity of this child's claims.

My frustration at my seeming impotence regarding this child's existence, and the denial of my concern, my rejected authority that was asked for, assigned, assumed, and employed, is now forcing me to reconsider yielding to the choices made by Siena's mother.

 How can I demand consideration, or  a call for action? How can I force an alteration in Jenny's ideas of parenting and her, so-called "teaching the children to question authority," according to Jen. 

Fact is that nothing has been taught. The kids have been raising themselves- television, video games, 24 hour unlimited access and use of the Internet. And this is not anything strange- it's going on throughout America!

I have protested and protested the chaos that Jenny has endorsed and supported. Now, since its a topic of dicussion among the elementary school attending, Siena is being entertained in her, so-called, transgender issues- with a trip to Denmark in the Fall.
 We have been waiting a long time for the court battle to be over- the money was needed to secure a home within the demands of the Hospital that employ's her- jeapordizing the very security needed to provide to Siena. 

And that's not to mention my very own needs, as well as my assigned and assumed responsibilities to the home, property, care, vehicle and equipment maintenance, tending to Siena's needs, and helping remind Jenny not to spend our money on shopping, eating out, or at the casino when we have bills, needs, and my books to publish that would give us all of the security we need and that I am looking for.

I guess she thinks there will always be plenty of, both, time and money, around for Everything.I would Love to  Witness The Day Of Awakening! And then die in my arms with the final confession that I was Right all along.


Without cooperation, the familiar relief of alcohol sneaks in and re-stakes it's claim to my existence. 

Compounding complications due to our combined despondency- nothing good comes of it and she continues to resist my insistence.

Again, I am helpless and failing in my attempt to be a father and a husband. Jenny has no interest in getting me to the local N.A. meetings and I cannot understand why??

Because Siena has not been taught how to care for anything, or for herself, she has a problem being responsible for anything, and her mother continues to NOT enforce any kind of rules or expectations....
On anyone but me, 
"get back in yer cage, varmint!"  

So much so that the thirty grand she received from her deceased grandfather most likely will end up being spent on a sex change instead of her education and future- pissing on his grave.

And now I grieve from a distance- forced to remove myself for the sake of the whims of the children... and Jenny's spending addiction.

I would no longer be there to witness her physical illness just before she gets her check-

Like heroine, money is destructive...
but Love Never Dies- 

it just hurts more.

Edited 4/23/2017 using an LG Treasure lte, and a whole lot of "what's left".   Zachery Scott Polk @bandanabro

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