Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! I just wanted to take a minute and readdress an important message to remember, especially on "memorable occasions," which should be ALL of them, if you have family to spend time with.

A memorable occasion is what we always want but the memorable part is usually something you didn't. ST. Patrick's Day is suppose to be a time to remember. Try to remember that while you try forgetting what happened LAST St. Patrick's Day. Hopefully everyone saved some Easter Grass from last year!

My childhood memories are double what you would expect. First of all, we have always had to have two family gatherings- one for Everyone, and one for everyone who can get along with Roxanne, my step aunt. Now I guess I am the person who no one can get along with. Or am I the person who should be having my own get-togethers?

When my step grandmother passed away I was feared pretty well. They were not going to let me speak at her funeral but I stood up and took my chance when the preacher was about to let the podium go to someone who was pre-approved, let's say. And I will bet anything that they never forget- especially since she was never MY step grandma....come to find out.

All of my life I was talked over, ignored, and smacked when I wasn't silent. Now that I have my own life, I have found my voice. And boy do they hate when I use it. I think they are the ones who motivated me to want to write. 

The best part of it is that what I write gets read before they have a chance to tell me to shut up. That's probably the part that they hate the most, being heard despite being held down with a heavy hand. 

Having your words read and comprehended is a pretty powerful thing to have. I hope all people can find a way to have their voices heard. Of course, that means that you are at least accepted enough to be heard.

This brings me to a very old story, "The Sword in the stone". This story is about having your voice and finding a way to give individuals their own.  It was the sword "in" the stone. 

Whom ever could extract it from the stone and give it to the people would be a powerful person. 

The sword represents your voice. Being able to wrought metal from rock is a skill handed down for thousands and thousands of years. The first person to get the product was highly respected and revered.

Each one of our voices counts for something- what ever it is you use it for. Now, let's use that voice to re-educate people with the understanding that RESPECT is NOT FEAR. You do not gain respect through others fearing you. You gain a battle that WILL come in the FUTURE. And when it comes for you, you will be defeated. Bet on that.

Intro to Prospect Studios Easter Promo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5gw3PxJKb8&t=179s

That is what I want to give you This ST. Patrick's Day.   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVI4UsKHoPc



And If you were part of the MusicLunge/Selig Worldwide Scam, know this- He had psychological control over my girlfriend, hijacked my promotion and business efforts, and robbed us of our time, money and resources, as well as threatened the health of his own significant other after taking "seed money" from her- stressing her out to the point where she had a heart attack.  Jenny, apparently figured I would never learn the truth if she made me quit doing my business efforts with @ProspectStudios. She has since taken control of the sites where I would learn these things. And since she figured I was so stupid, it would work. 

Well, as you can see, I don't know what I am doing anymore since being separated from my work BUT I AM BACK. That's Why They Call Me "ZACKATTACK"
Happy St. Patrick's Day from Zachery Polk @Prospect Studio @BandanabroOne  and #madzackradio on FaceBook!

"Don't You Know How Much I Love You?"  https://youtu.be/3so46rnOQu4

"The heavy price for a deceptive love"

Jenny had a friend helping her with the kids but the very second that I became to be in the picture, Andrea, moved out and abandoned the situation- another big fat red flag, that I should have appreciated.

As far as, Pudge, the Dachshund, Jen, who never had been educated about nor had a dog in the past, said that Pudge was just "marking". They continued to allow him to live in the apartment, as if he rented a room, same as the kids.  In less than one year Pudge would be dead due to common everyday carelessness that went unrecognized and uncorrected, and was soon forgotten like loved ones in a convalescent home.

Despite published advice from Psychologists, Jen allowed Drew to replace the dog soon after. That dog was almost identical to Pudge- same colors and pattern only it was a beagle mix and proved to be a terrible idea- just as warned by the
Psychological Professionals.

Drew continued to go about his "development" playing on the x-box day and night, having his way with my laptop until he destroyed it with his entitlement to be careless and irresponsible, and unparented despite my many voiced concerns.

Siena was not much different, only her age and desire for attention made her much more accessible to provide guidance to as well as influence. She took to the outdoors as soon as I showed it to her. Siena learned almost everything she knows, from myself. She is a good shot with a bow, plays multiple instruments, draws very well, writes, reads books, studies multiple languages, knows how to prepare some forms of wildlife and livestock, build a fire, fish, hunt, some tracking, forage, ride a bike, tie her shoes, raise chickens, gardens etc... all because of the time I have spent with her.

No persons can be assembled to accumulate more time spent with her that would anywhere near mine.
No one has an amount of Care and Time Invested into this Child and her Environment more than I do. But she is just like her mother when it comes to instruction- resistant, omnipotent, argumentative, wasteful- an extreme and severe challenge to deal with no matter who you are or your authority.
And her mother refuses to correct her... Maybe fearimg the Child will leave and she will pay Steve child support.. Money and Control .

It'd been hard but I continue my work with creating who she is becoming.

The first thing that she wanted to be was a marine biologist. Now she wants to be anything but female. She has become to believe that she isn't good enough and it hurts so bad to know how badly she is hurting. Her mother has seemingly erased her sense of pride for what she has become because of me, with respect to the emotion and sense of self that she has been exhibiting since I made, what seems to be, the mistake of asking Jenny if Seina has told her that she loves her, back in January of 2015- according to my journal when I shared that Siena had been coming to me, telling me she loves me, and giving me hugs. Jenny seems to have destroyed all of that. And that hurts beyond my capacity to illustrate my feelings enough for.

Since then Jen has stopped taking me to my appointments with professionals. My mouth has become infected four times- now for the fifth time. Even though she is my paid personal assistant and caregiver, she has abandoned me within my own home. She refuses to take me where I need to go or direct me to tend to my affairs- not to mention the avoidance of her own. And she has now gone back to her old ways of not answering the phone when it rings- avoiding any and all confrontations. She has been refusing to facilitate helping me to attend the programs or complete any of the requirements needed in order to get my drivers license back, which would enable me to tend to my own affairs related to my welfare. Although she has me driving Siena to school and running errands etc... mostly due to her laziness and Siena's lack of discipline, or the instruction needed to manage this child. Repeatedly, I tell her, "You wait for the bus. The bus does not wait for you." But Jen entertains the child's delinquency by changing her schools to meet her wants. School records, which I possess, support this statement 110%.

What do I have to do in order to do what is right? What price do I have to continue to pay, and for how long? Do I not deserve some right to this child after being her only parent for the past 8 years? But tomorrow I go to court and possibly prison or jail because the police had to charge me with something in order to have a reason to remove me from my own home, at Jenny' whim over her not wanting to discus why Siena was only grounded for one day without computer after pulling a knife on her mother over cleaning her room?  Or why we made 72 thousand dollars for the past four years every year but have not set any money aside for an emergency even? Yet she comes to my hotel room to use me for sex, preying on my love for her? And services that she know my mind and desires, further manipulating me for her own needs.

Why can I not say that enough is enough entirely? The price I am willing to pay is indescribable and I  drink myself to sleep over the torment of what is right and what actually is. I am dying for love.

It would be while staying at a crisis residentil home recovering from the next breakdown... I returned to an ever bigger destruction. It was as if it were deliberate.

Salvaging what efforts I had been preserving and considering the loses, I would not arrive at a clue that ended up revealing Another whole story of #corruption and greed.... And betrayl. But that wouldnt happen until ANOTHER 16 MONTHS- April 1 2017

zachery s polk.  Thanks For Reading.

second book -excerpt

Sometimes I think that I made a mistake in my approach to, Drew and Siena, Jen's kids, by not supporting what was, to me, clearly excessive video gaming.

And there was no way for me to know, at the time, that gambling and internet also combined with Steve's crack and alcohol use, having destroyed the marriage beyond repair. 

The only reason, as I understand now, that the repair wasn't able to be made, was due to Jenny's chronic avoidance of confrontation and her unwillingness to accept constructive criticism or work together in the least. 

How she maintained a job? Only for the habits she has of spending money and for the promiscuity and sexual nature of the staff's routine banter and habits at Sparrow Hospital of Lansing, which happened to have fired her soon after we got together. Most likey related to the decision.

In addition to that, as I learned from decisions and information from official documents, the apartment that she was living ii, when we met, had been rented in her ex-husband's name.

 And that she had a house that she was buying that she just up and walked away from- letting the bank have it! 

She just THREW IT AWAY. Threw away the investment and many possessions. And on top of that, the rent at the apartment she occupied after her break-up went unpaid resulting in an eviction after I moved in with her. When they left the situation it included being sued for damages caused by the Dachsund peeing all over due to the fact that the kids were being babysat by video games. Whether Steve was dragged to court over it all, I do not know.

I helped with the moving, of course. Little did I know, but would eventually learn, that's what they do, just throw everything away. Not care for anything, just throw things away when they lose interest. Eventually, to my grave disappointment, I too, would be thrown away when my use was wore out. A mere novelty item, a commodity to be consumed. 

The very same thing happened in Traverse City, only they took the money from my bank account byway of a loan that I had secured with my own money i order to buy Jenny a motorcycle, in an effort to develop credit. her idea of what I was suppose to do and not do led me to a nervous breakdown that turned into being arrested for a DUI- stemming from the interruption in my medical care, which official complaints have been documented. Hopes of rebuilding the bond that I had once established with my only son had blown up in my face as well. He is still causing me a great deal of grief and heartache.

Now my home is being destroyed again by the internet, and most likely I will be sued due to the disagreement regarding parenting, what needs to be addressed around the house, who needs to do what, and how our money should be managed. All of these things are snowballing out of control, destroying property and a home that my name is on the lease of- regardless of whether it's by the month now or not. 

My business efforts were forced to stop completely, under the guise that I was a stay at home father working on my writing. My writing efforts were brought to a halt, and I would continue to secretly grieve for the loss of my team. Everyone was all about what I was doin until Jen diverted resources and confodential infor and tactics to Sergio Giles. Who made her the VP of music lunge. Never compensating... Always taking my knowledge and acquired skill sets and plans and contacts. Causing for all who were in my network to abandon me... Little would I know until this tome in life working at yuning up my storoes tp complete my effort. Being held a hostage in my own home. I felt like Howard Huges. But Now I am feeling like Job. My office and studio have been destroyed and discarded as nothing but clutter. And I am very angry to receive such treatment as reward for doing the jobs that needed tending to for the sale that they simple must be done. No one would do them, mother supported that, amd my chore list became a punishments deserving of the father I was making up for in the name of the childs development.

I feel like a punching bag for all of them- compounded transferences of anger and hatred towards Steve? My coping skills are becoming exhausted and I cannot seem to find anyone to turn to. My whole being is becoming destroyed along with everything I have accumulated and all that I have produced. My struggles have been too long and too many to accept this level of failure. It is impossible to leave Siena in a situation when I can clearly see the inevitable consequences and hardships to come. Someone needs to give me the consideration to tell me where my own boundaries are morally, ethically, and familially, when it comes to being a person asked to be a parent and then asked to leave when they actually become the parent in that child's life. HELP ME.

This is much bigger than I feel like I can handle and I cannot beare to imagine the look of pain and the tears on the cheeks of anyone involved- not even on the faces of those I am most angered and appalled by. Now I am in a very bad position because of it all and I am about to lose what little I have in life, foremost the people that I love. No matter how bad they fear, hate, or fail to see what the game plan truly is in the big picture when it comes to a family. 

Even if we are "divorcing", all involved need counseling. Jen wouldn't let Drew take the stand in court over his grandpa's death suit because he is too immature in every respect. Why then, turn him lose with thirty grand? That's nonsense. This boy is HANDICAPPED badly in every way due to lack of education the home- every home he has been in. WHY?

This is going on in many mamy homes. More than anyone realizes. These stories in this book are glances at man many family and community situations... All directly related to early childhood development and addiction.

Truly, someone, somewher myst find value on what I am giving my life and sharing all of the humiliating and self destructive degrees.

We are only here once. Living a simple life is all some of us want.. That and having time and resources to share with others when they are in any kind of need..I don' t ever ask for help.  I will kill mysrlf proving that it can be done, and that I will do it alone, if need causes for it. Why am I left to be mocked and scoffed at, and pursuaded to believe these things do not exist? I know, for a fact, that they are real. 

BELIEVE ME- I'd rather be fishing etc...

zachery polk