Strife Of Survival- SOS

 7:11 am, Friday November 26, 2021

Just woke up from a short stretch of sleep, after having been gifted the host's bed, on the second night at "family" for Thanksgiving. Oh, wow. What a day to describe, and though the stove top stuffing was most likely soggy, at 5:59 last night... things certainly did get rained on. Yes, it rained off and on all day but it was a lovely day to be outside in the Fall. And, being a "memorable holiday," it was certainly remarka 

November 28, 2021 12:59 pm  Removed my jacket, it's too warm right now. I've been doing chores. Just finished cleaning up the kitchen. Julie is in bed, watching her soap and playing her game. I cleaned out the car of all groceries and things, having been left undone. So far, after our big chat, we've cleaned and decorated the living room a bit together. It was nice. The printer doesn't work yet- need to get another cord and see. The one I'm trying to use belongs to another device. Ive yet to sit down and recapture everything that has happened since my last entry. Today, I'm taking some time to do some xmas shopping for julie and my kids. I am very very overwhelmed with responsibilities and concerns. Everything is a hot subject and Julie is very sensitive to my insistence. I am picking my battles as need per their priority. Priorities change day to day, moment to moment. It really is a difficult game of chess. My feear is that, my journal will not be a sufficient defense due to my inconsistency and timely fashion but one must understand that every time I stop to make catalogues, it delays serious matters, only to have  things snowball all the way down the list. Jen has serious mental control over her mother. Jen may be (and I am quite certain she has been) using her interests in dark arts to manipulate things. It doesn;t matter, she believes in it. SHe is the one helping manifest negative energy. She stated she has lived there all her life. Julie is in such a spell, anyone can get money out of her. SHe constantly tries and offers to buy things for me- to whioch I always say no. It was Tracy who went directly to her and talked her into getting the bike. I had been talking about wanting to get one but that was no hint at all for her that I wanted her to get one. I am not thinking about relapsing but i am in danger of it. Julie has gone back t her old habits. Jen has had her way with everything- not one penny is left to take. Julie, literally, will have to pay someone to buy it. I am sickened. Jen is setting around waiting to get the property. Jimm and Johnny are talking abouyt inheritances, julie is dying right before my eyes, and I am left to watch, and wait to go back to the streets? All of this time everyone involved was offered an opportunity helping me. I am being punished for being the man that ruined everyones lives. They are holding me accountable for the qwrong-doings of the ones who hurt them? It sure looks like it to me. Yet, this went on with everyone i ever knew. Is it me? Am I the one being haunted all of my life to suffer in every and any way possible?

Escaping The Despondent Sea is available on Amazon Kindle Unlimited, and is receiving 5 star reviews on Goodreads.com