Escaping The Despondent Sea : Isolation

Have you ever noticed how distractions, disruptions,...and disturbance destroys dreams, while creating a dream? And the dog needs attention,...at your moment of need to be undisturbed?

Motivated by what? I do not know but, there was a very good message to deliver. The energy was lost when my gal came home. We will recapture an even better message later, while I re-calibrate my weapons for target. I have great seeds that need to be planted in the gardens of The People.

My book is an Alcoholics Anonymous type book of what I found while pursuing the love and security promised by others. This is a true story of what the musical chairs game has to offer the youth of America, in the city's offering of, A Capitalist Dictatorship. Every man for himself, get rid of the women and children first. Here, take this pill.

Yes, while I sit here frustrated, I am turning the change into a garden plant of which fruit Will be harvested.

The dog paws at an iPad screen while my business partner eats a reheated shake and bake pork chop, laughing at the dialogue of Friends on television. Commercial breaks, and a short bitch about a high chair that won't prevent a child from standing. No response yields silence for the next commercial, continuing a video game. The dog's barking for interaction causes for her to speak out in angst over being interrupted! And my frustration is concealed as I finish typing to attend to the dog's needs.

The dog cannot be lost in the sea of despair. I am it's savior for my sacrifice to suffice my own emotional needs by giving Riley his, fore he may very well be the spirit to prove my nobility. And for my children, I can only hope they find their way back to me for their quests and heirlooms.

Just when you're feeling low, there's always a sign of something good on the horizon. Sometimes, it's in Nepal! Yes, as I continue throwing a plastic hot dog, for Riley and I, my frustration is kept at bay with the patience of a gardener... and a father.

Zodzac (? on facebook) called me, from Nepal. He wanted to hear me play some blues. We discussed things through a broken communication effort impeded upon by our very profitable technology we were convinced into Investing our lives into. (serious negative disturbances try to stop me from writing these very thoughts but I have rebuked them aloud, and they have ceased).

Reluctant to answer the call, expecting someone to ask me for money... I did. The man had a meager dwelling, very simple. My heart was heavy with disruption but I tried to play a little, at his request.

After the conversation. It made me very happy to know that I touched the life of someone on the other side of the world. And with that affirmation, I continue my journey.

Conversation returns to my struggle to convey my plans, only to find quick defensive argument from my previously distracted co-conspirator- much too quick to find identity which in turn, leaves me to be even more tactful and mindful of diffusing argument. Politics- how to keep the subject entertained while angling for understanding. Pulling the trigger ends the game.

Yeah, Biden's disappointed with the Rittenhouse verdict but Not about Starbucks? Shoot....blanks a second!

I was just at Kroger, my favorite store by the way.. Yeah, they're suspect. They've got a Starbucks so, after a lengthy shopping effort wandering the aisles and arguing with myself over bread molding where tortillas never do, and with what the cost is to buy flour and spice as opposed to gravy mix for biscuits; I order a cup, returning to the gravy thought docked in my mind. Ten for ten sounds like a deal but when you see how much flour and salt you are getting for ten bucks, it makes little sense but the simplicity of it being sold. The very simplicity they want you to surrender to them, at your expense. The understanding of where the resources are from is being lost for the sake of the dependence corporate america creates by advertising, and the stigma developed regarding "home-made".

Am I making sense to Anyone? Maybe not. That thought was interrupted just before wandering aisles. It only began moments ago, which was only brought about due to Riley Pissing on my bed, right at my knees as I sat there with headphones on. Oh, the twists,... I know. Let's drift back with the tide a moment...

Bear Grylls is now on the telly, and as I sit here to retrace the trail... Anger. It was anger that brought this fleet of thoughts about! Let's return to bedroom now, to see again, and continue writing as a test of new things.

The bedroom

Internet device in hand, Bear Grylls does his thing, she glances up at me as Riley and I get on the bed. Putting on my headphones, I explain the show I just did and how Scarlett was watching. My routine is to review the show since she has the tv on some routine thing usually, while entertaining herself with her games she enjoys. Alone together, mostly,... And, just saying it as I have, will get me a problem with her when she reads this. Clearly, an example of "peer pressure," so-called; a fancy way of bullying especially since the situation boils down to a truth being pointed out that, selfishly, refuses to be seen. Like the problem of internet or gaming abuse i.e. Addiction. No one wants to face dependence in any form, and all efforts at making a display of it are superficial and short lived. What was my point, there's so many roiling to the surface to be seen and identified. I wish I could go back to not knowing what I do, Ignorance Is Bliss. Now, I understand more.

The dog wanted to go outside but it's limited communication was overlooked- neglected is the word. He is not supposed to bark, and therefore refrains unless he's excited. My cabin girl was in her world, while Riley and I are on the side. I entertain Riley so he doesn't eat her lunch or interrupt her, when she's busy.

So, I'm frustrated all day, trying to "get thru" on a variety of things going on. There's nothing I want to do but review and critique the show I just did- look for responses and comments etc..., while furthering thoughts on important things, to me. I can see the the bedroom door is shut, and I see Riley go from the bed to the door, and his little wandering around, getting back on the bed. Nothing unusual. She continues with her iPad, and I stew with the headphones- mad at the world.

Riley gets on the bed, and right before me is hiking his leg and pissing on the bed. He was swatting distance, and the receiver.

Now he's looking at me, cowering and scared because the daddy he loves so much wasn't paying attention when he tried to say he had to go outside. Relationship with the dog causes a direct inconvenience to the otherwise "preoccupied" persons, and therefore is the receiver of negligence and abuse, as well as the cause of inevitable expenses incurred for the "inconvenience" exacerbating the persons need for love even more, which is why they got the dog in the very first place. Vicious, isn't it?

So, anyway- yeah. I'm pissed. I didn't ask for a dog or addiction. Capitalism made it profitable.

All I wanted to do was produce something of a particular nature. Ultimately, looking back now to grab at the proverbial straws, the message is: do not take on passengers or cargo until the ship is in shape, and the crew is properly oriented. That starts with a budget of time, resources, and delegation of authority. No preoccupations until all needs have been met. Being Unequally yoked is the first concern brought in question when considering marriage before a Priest, for instance. And, I know why.

The more aware a man/woman/child becomes, the harder it is to accept any part of anything in society in America Today. And, I can see why any man who does see, is silent. Here is where the "pen name" was invented, I'm certain. Certain of the time, (it say's 9:03 pm)? I cannot be certain of time, the music of my vibration existing is all I will ever have. How long my song rings out, I will never know but I play anyway.