After the divorce, Jenny reasserted herself to a new tomorrow.
The main fear was the impact on the children but the part she didn’t realize was, the dad spent so little time, cerebrally, that it wouldn’t really have an impact of any real measure.
Her son was busy with his friends, (playing sports through the school, and playing video games when he had no other mental occupation), that it was hardly noticed at all.
Her daughter, being almost four, six years younger than her brother, and not having any hobbies outside of being one more t.v. baby to add to the world, was a different story.
Because of the lack of ethics employed by the, so-called, man of the house, she had the exposure to more adult contented programming than children do or should. I am not sure, to this day, if that was fortunate or not due to the cerebral growth- cognitive thinking that seemed to spring out from her.
She did some pretty calculative thinking, quickly noticed, being that I was introduced and interacted with her a great deal, while essentially helping the woman of my affection with her needs.
I was a pseudo-dad and that was fine with me at the time, having suffered a number of years over the demise of my marriage and loss of my children, I wanted it but I couldn’t really express exactly how I felt due to the established relationship and my insistence to continue to nurture life with Jenny.
She and I talked about real things, she wasn’t a drinker, and didn’t use. We couldn’t get enough of each other, having had to wade through life and find all the rot before we could see where the good truly laid. Terrible things, we both shared, having seen the same traumatizing movie at a PreSchool age, (JAWS), and being with the wrong person, finding out the hard way about human nature. BUT, having lived through all of it, I think we both feel the same way...without it we may not have ever evolved to be able to actually BE in a relationship. Like it was an extra fucking long college course and you just get a paper at the end that says you were there. I was Here. Whoopee, where’s the grave?
I signed up for eHarmony, probably the very same week she did. we found each other in about two months. To this day, I couldn’t be happier though you read this after my death. (this was in 2009)
Speaking of death, I had a “dream” that included my grandfather, Ernest Lindner. I held his hand. At first, it was a tiny hand but I could feel it grow as his energy filled me, telling me everything is O.K. and how proud he is of me and my efforts, and even if nobody sees, who you seek affection or attention from, that it wasn’t a waste of my time; That I was doing a good thing. He was there.
Then I had a “crash” drank a little bit, got pissed off at everyone in the world. Called Vince in Chicago, only to be told my studio was a joke, and that I was nothing more than capitalizing on Danny. Three or four times that evening, and into the early am hours, we fought on the phone. Before that, my sister called and said how Aunt Karen fell off her horse and got trampled, smashing her ribs in front and back. Maybe that was Karma for being snotty to me at Gary’s house recently- when my mother pulled the ol‘ “we’re having dinner at Gary’s”, at 2pm...that day!!
She does this to me all the time, like they don’t really want me there so they call the last minute, just so they can say they told me. I need a rest now.
Over three months went by before anyone mentioned Aunt Bern and Uncle Bill, and their passing away. Being the oldest grandson in the family, I had certain entitlements from some key family members. A 1969 Dodge Charger was tagged for me but vanished. Nobody knows anything about it.
Something very interesting did get told to me. Uncle Bill passed away, in a home, within twelve hours after Aunt Bernice. She had polio as a child. Her and Uncle Bill were High School Sweethearts.
He took care of her. His inventiveness was noted all over the house. From perfectly finished off walls and passages to the radiant heat system he built himself. There was a restaurant called the Texan near their house, I’m trying to think of the street they lived on.
Anyway, the Texan sign was a two-fisted, gun slinging, Cowboy hat wearing character...looked identical to him, if he were cartooned. One day we were passing by a building with silhouettes of women on the side of it. I said “hey, there’s Uncle Bill”, but nobody payed attention. Later on I realized it was a naked book store. I always chuckle when I think of that.
We used to go there, (Aunt Bernice and Uncles Bill's), when we were visiting in the area, Grandpa/Grandma Lindner, (she’ll be 80 in April 2010) Great Grandma Lindner, (cookie grandma), Aunt Bern and Uncle Bill, Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Gary, (Cheryl and my step father ran off together and had a cross-eyed kid...my half brother/cousin, what a gas to comprehend), Aunt Karen and cousins Carrie and Wade, (and then there’s little Freddy, Captain Freddy’s kid), oh I can’t remember who else.
It all depended on if we came with Rick, (my stepfather), or not, oh yeah Grandma and Grandpa Hubbard, (now grandma and grandpa Dingman- he just died recently), and she beget him and he beget sons and blah blah blah.
You get the picture here, right? Sarcasm at a time like this!? Who in the hell are you entertaining here, Zach? Maybe just yourself. I’m used to it, I’ve had to play with myself all my life. I asked my mom for this and that, thirsty...she’d say “swallow spit”, or “you don’t deserve it”. Hell I deserved so little, I had nothing, which was actually a whole lot better. The dirt and rocks, the trees and smells, the animals, the streams and their Crayfish. I had the world, screw her..”you don’t deserve it”. Look at that, I ended up with the world. I win.
That’s what Grandpa was telling me. He was telling me I was the richest person ever. He was giving me PERSPECTIVE.
They call me crazy because I believe stuff like that. Communications from the dead or other-worldly existences, planes, energy that goes on eternally.
Too many instances have been directly confronting me to believe anyone else’s opinion. When you know something, you know something. If I say a chicken dips snuff, you’d better look under his wing for the chew can.
Have A Wonderful Easter! Thank You, for reading my stories.
The main fear was the impact on the children but the part she didn’t realize was, the dad spent so little time, cerebrally, that it wouldn’t really have an impact of any real measure.
Her son was busy with his friends, (playing sports through the school, and playing video games when he had no other mental occupation), that it was hardly noticed at all.
Her daughter, being almost four, six years younger than her brother, and not having any hobbies outside of being one more t.v. baby to add to the world, was a different story.
Because of the lack of ethics employed by the, so-called, man of the house, she had the exposure to more adult contented programming than children do or should. I am not sure, to this day, if that was fortunate or not due to the cerebral growth- cognitive thinking that seemed to spring out from her.
She did some pretty calculative thinking, quickly noticed, being that I was introduced and interacted with her a great deal, while essentially helping the woman of my affection with her needs.
I was a pseudo-dad and that was fine with me at the time, having suffered a number of years over the demise of my marriage and loss of my children, I wanted it but I couldn’t really express exactly how I felt due to the established relationship and my insistence to continue to nurture life with Jenny.
She and I talked about real things, she wasn’t a drinker, and didn’t use. We couldn’t get enough of each other, having had to wade through life and find all the rot before we could see where the good truly laid. Terrible things, we both shared, having seen the same traumatizing movie at a PreSchool age, (JAWS), and being with the wrong person, finding out the hard way about human nature. BUT, having lived through all of it, I think we both feel the same way...without it we may not have ever evolved to be able to actually BE in a relationship. Like it was an extra fucking long college course and you just get a paper at the end that says you were there. I was Here. Whoopee, where’s the grave?
I signed up for eHarmony, probably the very same week she did. we found each other in about two months. To this day, I couldn’t be happier though you read this after my death. (this was in 2009)
Speaking of death, I had a “dream” that included my grandfather, Ernest Lindner. I held his hand. At first, it was a tiny hand but I could feel it grow as his energy filled me, telling me everything is O.K. and how proud he is of me and my efforts, and even if nobody sees, who you seek affection or attention from, that it wasn’t a waste of my time; That I was doing a good thing. He was there.
Then I had a “crash” drank a little bit, got pissed off at everyone in the world. Called Vince in Chicago, only to be told my studio was a joke, and that I was nothing more than capitalizing on Danny. Three or four times that evening, and into the early am hours, we fought on the phone. Before that, my sister called and said how Aunt Karen fell off her horse and got trampled, smashing her ribs in front and back. Maybe that was Karma for being snotty to me at Gary’s house recently- when my mother pulled the ol‘ “we’re having dinner at Gary’s”, at 2pm...that day!!
She does this to me all the time, like they don’t really want me there so they call the last minute, just so they can say they told me. I need a rest now.
Over three months went by before anyone mentioned Aunt Bern and Uncle Bill, and their passing away. Being the oldest grandson in the family, I had certain entitlements from some key family members. A 1969 Dodge Charger was tagged for me but vanished. Nobody knows anything about it.
Something very interesting did get told to me. Uncle Bill passed away, in a home, within twelve hours after Aunt Bernice. She had polio as a child. Her and Uncle Bill were High School Sweethearts.
He took care of her. His inventiveness was noted all over the house. From perfectly finished off walls and passages to the radiant heat system he built himself. There was a restaurant called the Texan near their house, I’m trying to think of the street they lived on.
Anyway, the Texan sign was a two-fisted, gun slinging, Cowboy hat wearing character...looked identical to him, if he were cartooned. One day we were passing by a building with silhouettes of women on the side of it. I said “hey, there’s Uncle Bill”, but nobody payed attention. Later on I realized it was a naked book store. I always chuckle when I think of that.
We used to go there, (Aunt Bernice and Uncles Bill's), when we were visiting in the area, Grandpa/Grandma Lindner, (she’ll be 80 in April 2010) Great Grandma Lindner, (cookie grandma), Aunt Bern and Uncle Bill, Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Gary, (Cheryl and my step father ran off together and had a cross-eyed kid...my half brother/cousin, what a gas to comprehend), Aunt Karen and cousins Carrie and Wade, (and then there’s little Freddy, Captain Freddy’s kid), oh I can’t remember who else.
It all depended on if we came with Rick, (my stepfather), or not, oh yeah Grandma and Grandpa Hubbard, (now grandma and grandpa Dingman- he just died recently), and she beget him and he beget sons and blah blah blah.
You get the picture here, right? Sarcasm at a time like this!? Who in the hell are you entertaining here, Zach? Maybe just yourself. I’m used to it, I’ve had to play with myself all my life. I asked my mom for this and that, thirsty...she’d say “swallow spit”, or “you don’t deserve it”. Hell I deserved so little, I had nothing, which was actually a whole lot better. The dirt and rocks, the trees and smells, the animals, the streams and their Crayfish. I had the world, screw her..”you don’t deserve it”. Look at that, I ended up with the world. I win.
That’s what Grandpa was telling me. He was telling me I was the richest person ever. He was giving me PERSPECTIVE.
They call me crazy because I believe stuff like that. Communications from the dead or other-worldly existences, planes, energy that goes on eternally.
Too many instances have been directly confronting me to believe anyone else’s opinion. When you know something, you know something. If I say a chicken dips snuff, you’d better look under his wing for the chew can.
Have A Wonderful Easter! Thank You, for reading my stories.
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