"A Love Unbridled" edited erotic /pt41notes

It’s 4:30 am and I am just yawning now. The thoughts of you existing have lit a fire in my heart that is raging and warping the steel that contains it. My pants become wet with the drips that seep from my lust for us, and to taste you and I on our flesh.

I wander back and forth in the cold and the snow to smoke one more cigarette that will only be another hurdle to get to you. My heart beats and keeps me going, and I only hope that I can win and keep your affection somehow- and I wonder.... what can I do to win your favor? What can I say to convince you to spend time together... to want to meet...?

When I feel the need, giving in to uncontrollable lusts for us, I want to continue to train my body and understandings, to be able to give you, your pleasure... and satiation. Loving you is the triumph, the look in your eyes that you love me too.

I want to be able to take you into the woods, where we can create our beautiful art together- in the winds, and scents of the earth, and the pines... the beeches... and to hear the beautiful sounds of the birds singing as we make love, and to have them watch and approve...

What I want most is to pledge myself to you and have you fall into my arms and weep and say that you only hoped to find someone who would commit themself to you too- to love you, and to have you, no matter what unfolds.

But my hopes are just dreams, and my dreams are just in my imagination.

I realize that I may never have what I am after... so I am left with only one consellation and that is my dreams... the only release I may ever have, but that’s okay. I am not happy with that but I look back at my grandfather who’s leadership said, “you don’t need a woman who will not treat you right” ... but it hurts. I want to have a significant other who treats me well and recognizes that I have something to share. I want her to believe in the gamble that is my work just as I would believe in the gamble that is her work... but I am a fool. A fool with my love...left to myself, and my heart to beat alone. And to realize I may never have what I am searching for... it hurts me, and sometimes the pain.. it's poisonous.
 If I only had us...